i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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