it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
