i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
