my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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