He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
