I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
