Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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