God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
