guys are only as good as the porn they watch
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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