it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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