i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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