I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
