I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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