We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think a kid would responsible me up
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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