we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Even my vagina gasped.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
