I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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