4 words: hood of his car
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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