We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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