It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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