I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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