State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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