I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
