How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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