I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
