"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
