he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
