Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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