He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
