Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
