I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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