Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Holy shit dude........stairs
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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