someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
