did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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