3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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