Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
