she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize