just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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