She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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