Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize