fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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