I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
