Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
im about as happy as oj after his trial
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
