Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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