a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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