Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
