I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize