you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
