yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
