it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
