We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
