Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
