it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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