If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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