I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
